Are you tired of scrimping and saving to barely get by? Are you fed up with putting every last penny away to secure your financial future? I say itâ€™s time to revolt and throw caution and planning to the wind!
Following are 10 tips that will help you join the coalition of the witless!
- Be sure to go shopping on an empty stomach. And take plenty of children with you. If you donâ€™t have any, borrow the neighborsâ€™.
- Buy a weight machine, treadmill, stationary bike or some other expensive exercise equipment that youâ€™ll never use for anything but a clothes rack.
- When you plan to have kids, make sure theyâ€™re all girls. Youâ€™ll be sure to go into debt quick then.
- When you do have those girls, make sure theyâ€™re smart enough to want to attend college, and that you make just enough money to not qualify for financial aid.
- In the winter, be sure to tell your kids to leave the front door wide open while you adjust the thermostat to sauna temeratures to knock off the chill.
- Instead of paying the $200 for new tires on the used car, go trade it in for a $350 a month new car as a â€œtreatâ€.
- Try to never plan for meals. Itâ€™s much more â€˜convenientâ€™ to go out and let someone else worry about the menu. Oh, and be sure that when you do go buy groceries for the house that thereâ€™s more than you can consume and you have to throw them out.
- Oh, I forgot about the credit card. Be sure to take full advantage of the credit limit youâ€™re offered, and only pay the minimum payment. That way, only about $13 for every $200 you give them will actually go towards your debt. That will help immensely.
- Did I mention not taking your lunch to work? I will now. Itâ€™s a great idea to do fast food every day, because then you can waste about $120 a month. Weâ€™re doing good! Now itâ€™s really adding up!
- Lastly, never plan for a vacation. Better to do it on the spur of a momentâ€¦ you know, all â€œspontaneousâ€ and all. And be sure to put it on the credit card, too. If thereâ€™s room left.
See, all it takes to make sure youâ€™re financially unhappy for the rest of your life is a little afterthought and consistency.